You've got to Smile

I love to get my photos printed in a book.
I spend endless hours deciding how it should look.
I fuss around with colour, shapes and frames
Always making sure that pages aren't the same.

I never use the wizard - I'm pretty good myself -
The proof is forty books or more sitting on the shelf.
I've done hundreds of others for kids at the school.
I'm trying to say that I'm really no fool.

But when I start the upload, my problems begin
The most annoying thing is when I can't log in.
 I've been working for days at a time on this site
 Now they tell me my password or name is  not right

I can't ring them - the office has been shut for a while
So I dash off an email to someone called Smile.
I say that their smile has not come through to me.
The smile's not contagious - not that I can see.

But that someone (Smile) knows to cut anger in half
By forcing this cranky old biddy to laugh.
I settle back to my task with a grin on my dial -
He or she changed my password to 'Smile'.

You Go, Girl

I took my sister to the hospital last night
She was drawn with pain and she looked a sight.
She thought her head was about to burst
And  severe chest pain made us fear the worst.

Emergency departments are always very busy
But we went right in because she was feeling dizzy.
They put her on a trolley and took her to a room
Because dying in the foyer really casts some gloom.

She saw doctors and nurses in a steady steam
We couldn't fault the professional team.
Her pulse was racing and blood pressure so highw
That  she said she almost wished she could die.

They put a needle in her arm and attached her to a drip
And started pumping pain killers to slow things down a bit.
They booked her in for X-rays and arranged for a scan
And ticked off on a list all the tests they ran.

They couldn't get a wheelchair so they asked if she could walk
As she headed down the corridor, they watched her like a hawk.
She was still in dreadful pain and swerved from wall to wall.
Still feeling very wobbly, she staggered along the hall.

I watched her going down the corridor, heading for X-ray
In that dreadful gown, with her bottom on display.
Much as I love her, I can say with honesty
That hospital gowns do nothing for your pride and modesty.

She held the the gown closed behind her with one shaky hand
Steering with the other the ungainly wheeled drip stand.
They ruled the 'nasties' out with a dozen tests that night
Apparently there was nothing likely to kill her outright.

They had checked her heart and lungs and chest and brain
There were no lumps or tumours to explain the awful pain.
She was not at risk of a stroke or heart attack or death
They couldn't find a reason why it hurt with every breath.

So once again they spiked her drip with even stronger stuff
I guess they thought they still hadn't given her enough
I'm not sure what they put in it but it worked like a dream
The headaches and the chest pains disappeared it seemed.

She gave a cheery wave and took a determined grip
Of the tall stand that held the tubes and bags and drip
She put her foot on the cross piece and scooted down the hall
Zipping in and out and making chairs and trolleys fall.

She scooted through the foyer dodging people's feet
And through the canteen where the staff members eat.
She fended off a kid with a plastic shield and sword
As she took a shortcut through the little children's ward.

A dozen security guys were skidding across the floor
Trying to head her off before she reached the door.
But she put on a burst of speed, reaching about fifty-five
As she really hit her stride and raced off down the drive.

Her gown swing wide around her. It was not a pretty sight
Covering not a skerrick of her bottom gleaming white.
The doctor shook her head: We'll soon see her again
But I can say that for the moment she's not feeling any pain.


(I am lucky enough to have four sisters, so each can point to another as the heroine of the poem.)

I Did Not have a Fall

Believe me, I did not have a fall.
That only happens when you're old.
Sure, I tripped and and yes I fell
But that is not what you'll be told.

I might have come a cropper
And nosedived near the door.
I maybe even took a tumble,
Measuring my length on the floor.

I went end over end and head over heels,
A over T, and bum over brain.
I took a quick landbased dive
And faceplanted near the laundry drain.

Perhaps I had a topple, tumble or trip
I certainly turned base up over apex.
I went arse over tea kettle too
And definitely went for a six

I plummeted to the ground
I bit the dust and took a spill
What ever words you want to use
Call it what you will -
I did not have a fall.

(And it wouldn't have been half so bad if I hadn't  lost my towel in the process and had to be helped up wet and naked by my host)